Welcome to our blog!

Find out about the recent experiences of young carers and their families in Sheffield plus some interesting insights into life as an SYC worker. (Please note that some names have been changed to protect the identity of young carers and family members who have contributed).

The return of SYC's Blog page! - Nick, Trainee Fundraising Officer

Hi everyone. My name is Nick, I have been working at SYC full-time for the last 4 months. I previously completed a university placement with SYC and I am now a trainee fundraising officer here – and it is such a great job!

One of the tasks I have been getting on with is a review of the SYC website. One of the features on the website I have come across is the blog page – in theory a great idea, but very underused and ignored; until now. I am hoping this blog helps kick start more blog posts on our website, becoming a space where anyone can have a safe space to talk – but more about this later.

Working at SYC, I have seen both the impact of caring on young people, as well as the brilliant support and work that goes into supporting young carers across Sheffield. Everyone here is so dedicated and driven to achieve real difference for young carers. Whether it those directly working with young carers, or perhaps those more hidden behind the scenes, that same dedication and drive is there. Of course, each person will have different reasons for this, but this Carers Rights Day (well, the day after), I am going to share my story and motivation for working at SYC, as well as the cost caring has had on me.

I have never really been someone that like to make a fuss or draw attention to myself, I have always just been a ‘get on with it’ sort of person, happy to just crack on with things under the radar. At school, university and work I am like this, so sharing that I once was a young carer myself is something I rarely do – although now looking back on it with my experience here at SYC, it probably is partially because I didn’t realise this. My dad was diagnosed with Huntington’s disease whilst I was still young and at primary school. Very briefly for those who may not be aware of Huntington’s disease, it is a hereditary neurological disease that impacts speech, movement, mood, communication, eating/appetite and other ‘control regions’, which over time becomes worse. We witnessed this as a family, month by month, year by year. But, as many other young carers would say when asked about caring, ‘you just do it because you do, it’s just normal’. And me and my family were no different, we cared for dad in every way we could.

Whether it was helping him in/out of bed, helping him shower, helping him to the toilet, helping him into his chair, sorting out his meals/food/drinks, feeding him, helping him take medication, calming him when mum would not be in the house or simply just sitting with him, we would do it because we cared for him. There were times when things felt tough – I vividly remember trying to revise for my mocks during a time when my dad was restless, constantly attempting to get out of his bed despite his very limited ability to walk, as well as shout for my mum just because he wanted to make sure she was in the house. Although, the tough times I have are often balanced out, and maybe even surpassed, by the good ones – such as when my dad woke up at 6am on Christmas morning and was adamant on all of us getting up to open presents like we were kids again!

Eventually, whilst I was in sixth form, dad had to move to a care home due to the worsening of his condition and the stress it was causing at home. Not caring in the same way was strange, in some ways it even felt wrong. But in this case, it was the right thing to do for all. The care home were great, and as a sign that it is hard to just switch off and stop caring when the cared for person no longer lives at home, were more than happy for us to feed dad on days we visited (who could hardly speak due to condition at this point so this interaction felt bigger than it may sound). Dad would spend another 2 years at the care home until he passed away in October 2019 after a couple of weeks in hospital. Of course, he is hugely missed – but with so many great memories to call upon, it’s not likely he will ever be forgotten. The way he would always shake my hand when I’d say goodnight, how he would always say thank you once you’d helped seat belt him in the car or the way he would howl with laughter at the T.V. when his favourite shows were on. Those are just some of the memories that I perhaps wouldn’t have had if it were not caring for dad, but they are memories I will always be grateful for.

Caring has definitely had a huge impact on me. There are of course the negatives that I went through, such as the missing out on social time, the stress and worry of making sure that the person you care for is okay, the feeling of being unable to tell friends about what was going on at home. I consider myself lucky, I certainly haven’t had to go through some of the issues that other young carers face. I don’t think lingering on the negatives is beneficial at all, and weirdly, I believe that caring has given me more than it took away. Whether that be resilience, patience, my caring nature or ability to smile when things might feel hopeless, caring for my dad has given me all of these. It’s helped shape the person I am today, and I hope that other young carers realise, one day, all the positives of their caring too. Even from the negatives of caring comes positives, like being able to improve speaking to people about tough topics, or finding ways to deal with stress and worries. I think what I am trying to say is that caring is costly, but it’s not all bad being a young carer. I hope that others reading can see this too, and recognise that it takes one heck of a person to be a young carer! And now getting to work for such a great charity that works so hard to support young carers; that’s enough motivation in itself for me!

So, that’s it from me really. A massive thank you to everyone who has read this, I hope it has helped show that being a young carer can be a positive, despite all the negatives that are associated with caring for someone. I also want to thank everyone at SYC, before working here I don’t think I would have ever done something like this, but you all show that being a young carer isn’t something to be afraid or ashamed of whatsoever.

If you’d like to write a blog article for our website, we’d love to hear from you. Whether you’re a young carer now, you used to be a young carer yourself, you are supported by a young carer or you want to discuss important topics around young carer, all young carer blogs will be considered. As part of our 25th anniversary celebrations next year we want to post at least one blog/vlog once a month, so there is plenty of opportunity to get involved. Please get in touch with Nick by email - Nick.Hardwick@sheffieldyoungcarers.uk

Rosie, 13 years old

Hi, my name is Rosie.

I’m not sure when I started caring but my mum got ill when I was 3 and my dad before I was born. My mum has had burst vessels, and my dad has a bowel disease triggered by stress, so when my mum is ill, so is my dad. My mum stutters, forgets things and speaks without thinking. Me and my sister have a lot of chores to do, a small room we share and it can be stressful.

My life didn’t feel different for a long time. It wasn’t until I started speaking to my friends that I realised how different my life is. I don’t get much time to relax alone, or go out with my friends, especially when both of my parents are ill. I am under more pressure than my friends and I have to do more around my house.

My highs are how close it brings us as a family and the amount of cooking and baking I get to do. The lows are not being able to connect with friends, not being able to have people over because my mum needs rests, having chores to do like going and buying local groceries, and the arguments I often end up in.

I am a hyper person, so when my family are stressed, they get annoyed. I also struggle keeping up with school, remembering things and doing jobs on time, with my caring responsibilities being the main cause of stress. This makes me distance myself from friends and I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for a long time. I feel like I’m old and younger at the same time. Older because I have to care and younger because when I’m at school it’s like an escape: I can be as hyper as I want but I later regret my actions. I don’t get to go out much, I don’t have a social life outside of school, restricting when I can see friends and meet new people.

I also have osteogenesis imperfecta meaning my bones are weak and restrict what I can do, and meaning I have to miss school for hospital appointments. But school isn’t a perfect haven: I have been bullied in the past several times.

I want to help other people though so, even through all this, I volunteer to help the Y7s transition in school. I used to be in the 12-16 group at SYC and I recently joined Action Group to raise awareness and help others.

Sara, Managing Director of SYC

Got a few minutes? We’d highly recommend using them to read Sara Gowen’s fantastic blog post on her recent research, which posed the questions, ‘How can we prevent young carers undertaking inappropriate or excessive care?’ and, ‘What are the challenges, evidence and actions needed to ensure we are not relying upon children and young people to provide care?’.

We’ve included a small taster of Sara’s research below and you can read the full post here, on the Research in Practice website.

“Our research found that young carers are often holding responsibilities for caring for their family members 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year. The young carers we talked to found night time caring responsibilities the most challenging, for example, the constant worrying, responsibility for checking on the cared for person, checking their home is safe and secured for the night. The disturbed nights and lack of sleep have a profound impact on young carers’ daily lives and especially on school days. We conclude that government needs to urgently ‘stop the clock’ on round the clock caring by young people through better monitoring, support and, where necessary, intervention.“

Our family holiday

Last October, we got a chance to take a break from our daily routine and enjoy a holiday at Reighton Sands Holiday Park in Filey, thanks to Maryam, our Family Worker at SYC. Not only did the place look massive but the staff were all so welcoming. The kids got frisbees and sweets on arrival and the caravan, which was our home for the next three days, was standard but had a really modern look.

On the very first evening, we went to the arcades and it felt so nice to see the kids having fun. We won loads of tickets in the arcade and then had fish and chips. Tea was nice but a bit over-priced – we didn't get much for the kids meals but we were fed and ready for the arcade again.

Our second day began with exploring the pool side in the morning. Zach loved it and didn't want to come out of it. The pool was very basic with no slides but it's great for little kids as it is not very deep. Afterwards we had dinner at McDonald’s in Scarborough which was about a 14-mile round trip so it’s good if you have a car.

We then went on a free beach bus ride, which collects passengers from a bus stop at the top of the site and then drives you down to the beach. The beach was rocky but it was lovely to walk on. We enjoyed our evening tea at the onsite Hawkwood restaurant. The food was fresh and tasty. The Show Bar is great for kids but expensive if you buy toys and stuff (light up toys, teddies).

The next day, we travelled to Flamborough and had a walk on the cliffs and sipped a cuppa in the café which was nice. Zach loved being out in the fresh air. We went for dinner at The Hawkwood again that night and the kids went back in the arcade to collect more tickets before we went into The Showbar and watched a pantomime.

We all really enjoyed our stay at Reighton Sands Holiday Park and we will definitely be going back in the future. The place was so nice and child-friendly – the kids loved it. The staff in the arcade are brilliant with the kids. Most importantly they are great with anyone with disabilities. It's a safe caravan site and children under 8 get a neon orange band (when swimming, but can be kept on during the whole holiday period), that has space to write emergency details on, so you can write your name and number in case your child gets lost on site.

The security people on site are lovely too and nothing is too much trouble. The disabled toilet has a baby change in there so we used it a lot and when we ask the security man for the key, we never got the feeling that they were fed up of us asking!!

Overall the holiday was brilliant and we’re looking at booking for next year for a mid-week break. Thank you so much Maryam – it was just what we all needed!!

Maryam, Family Support Worker

My name is Maryam and I started working with SYC in 2011. The fact that SYC is a charity and does a lot of great work with vulnerable people made me want to be part of this kind of organisation.

One of the best things about working for SYC is that, as staff, we care about the people that we work with. We all want to make positive changes for vulnerable families. I feel that we are all passionate about the work that we do: I care a great deal about how I do my work.

‘Caring’ is an important aspect of what I do - it’s not just a job. I feel very privileged to walk into someone’s house and for them to let you in and tell you about their struggles. That is a very hard thing for anyone to do, to expose yourself emotionally, being open, honest and vulnerable.                  

The journey that I take with families is important to me. It helps us both to see the distance that we have travelled together from start to finish. Helping to resolve or address difficulties that families have had are important, as these can be the stumbling blocks in preventing them from enjoying their family life together. Reducing those stresses and anxieties is important, alongside creating some of the nicer moments like arranging a family holiday, so that they can create happy memories which is a really positive goal to work towards.

Family work is not an easy job. No one family is ever the same as another. However, when I have been able to work with a family to help them address their issues and enable them to move forward, that feels like a great achievement. Although the work can be challenging it is also extremely emotionally rewarding.

Jenny, 12 years old

I started to care for my mum when I was five years old (ish). She needs help due to multiple spinal problems, including slipped discs. This affects her ability to bend and carry heavy weights. I do the washing, lifting, cooking and sometimes I help her put socks or shoes on. It is hard for me because I am an only child and I only have my dad to help with caring for my mum.

Compared to those who don’t have caring roles, I hardly get breaks away from my caring and hardly get out at weekends. A highlight for me about my caring role is that I get to spend time with those I care for. However, a low is that I don’t have a high social status with friends.

Before I joined Action Group I had support through SYC groups and 121 sessions. I joined Action Group because I want to help and support other young carers and gain confidence. From the group I have made new friends for life and helped make change for others. I’m most proud of us getting to meet Theresa May because it could make lots of changes for the better in future life.

Ben, 16 years old

I started caring for my mum when I was about 8 years old. She needs my help to look after my little brothers and sister and she also needs my help in lifting, cooking, cleaning, shopping, lots of things. I also care for my brother as he has cancer. I help him to feel better about himself and I play games with him. This affects both my mum and brother in a good way and it eases off their stress and anxiety. I don’t get to go out with friends as much due to stress and school work builds up.

My life is different to young people who aren’t carers because I have a lot more responsibility and stress on my shoulders. The highs of being a carer are that I feel good about what I’ve done while lows are that I have stress, anxiety and less time.

Before joining SYC I had no help, but the groups gave me a break from my caring. I joined SYC’s Action Group because I wanted to build my skills and confidence. I have increased my skills and confidence and got a break and made new friends. Of everything we’ve done, I am most proud of making people happy.